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From MotherUnit:

When I was in Girl Scouts (we’re talking 40 years ago here peeps) our council owned a cabin just a little bit out of town and my troop arranged to use it for a winter weekend. We spent all day outside sledding till dinner. Afterward we roasted marshmallows in the fireplace for s’mores and then into our jammies before filing into the bunk room for the night.

This bunk room was narrow and ran the full length of the building. There were 12 sets of bunk beds & nearly every bed was occupied. We’re all settling down when a scream comes from the far end of the bunk room. A girl was on the top bunk shrieking & pointing into the corner. There a little mouse was peeking at her through a crack in the floor. So, she did what any self-respecting pre-teen would do: She threw a shoe at it.

As soon as the shoe settled the mouse peeked out again so she threw another shoe. We kept passing shoes, slippers and even snow boots for her to lob. In no time the corner was full of shoes, but the mouse kept peeking out from the footwear totally unfazed by our efforts. Our leaders, unable to sympathize for the danger that we were convinced existed, told us to quit screaming & go to sleep. Eventually we did.

The second night we entered the bunk room somewhat nervously, but the mouse chose not to appear there again.

This one’s from Lisa:

I woke up this morning at 5:30, groggily as always, and go to the bathroom to wash up and hopefully wake up. Usually, when I go wash up, the first thing I do is look into the mirror to see how awful I look. However, as I turn towards the mirror, I notice a spider dangling right in front of my face. I’m a bit arachnophobic, and this spider is literally an inch from my nose, so I completely freeze up (and wake up in the process. Yay!). As I’m contemplating what to do with the spider, I look around to see if there were any potential spider-swatters around me.

I noticed that when I looked around, the spider never left my sight. It always seemed to be in front of me. It took a few minutes, but the truth finally struck me. I had a live spider dangling from my hair. Just to be sure, I even tilted my head up and down slowly to see if the spider shifted locations. When it did, I freaked out and started swatting my hand at the space above it, hoping to break the webby-string it was hanging on. I’m not quite sure where the spider ended up, but it sure-as-heck isn’t in my hair anymore.

Perhaps the worst way of waking up ever. Thanks guys and keep up the awesome work - Lisa

Thanks Lisa!

This week I’ll be posting stories that were submitted for our recent Rodent Show that weren’t read due to time constraints.

This story comes to us from Erin in Wisconsin:

My husband, daughter and I had 10 days to find a house once our house sold, Florida housing market being the way it was. I found a 1920’s two bedroom bungalow ‘west of the trail’ (considered nice on the Florida suncoast) that was a little rundown. The day we moved in was fine though the rental company didn’t really clean before we moved in. A friend had cleaned the kitchen and unpacked some boxes, putting some stuff away. (more…)

A mini-cast sharing moments from the Nobody’s Calling Line being forwarded to James’ cell phone.

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I was with my friend and her family at the beach the other day. We were all
having fun playing in the waves and getting wet. Her eight year old brother managed to get soaked.

He told his mom that he was done playing on the beach so she let him change into the extra pair of clothes she had brought him. After a couple of minutes he was back playing in the waves and getting soaked.

An hour later, their mother told us it was time to go, change into dry clothes and go out for dinner. My friend had already used his dry set, so his mother made him put on his twin sister’s clothes!

The twin sister was a very girly-girl type. She was into pink and purple and fluffy things so of course Lucifer was horrified at the idea, but he obeyed his mom because he was really hungry.

When we get to the restaurant, we saw a bunch of their classmates, apparently at a birthday party. Immediately they spot the twins and all the boys start howling. The girls turn around and start complimenting him on his choice of clothing.

My friend is never going to live that one down!

Thanks zimply!

This story took place a long time ago when I was dating my wife.

One Friday afternoon I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. She mentioned that her mother had been freaking out all week because her driver’s license was going to expire soon and she was unsure about being able to pass the written and driving test again. Things were quiet for the moment, however, because mom was out taking her test. Just a moment or two later her mom came home happy and because she passed the written test and did not have to take the driving portion at all. My girlfriend asked how it went. It turns out that a very nice man working at the DMV, realized how scared and nervous she was had taken her under his wing. He calmed her down, gave her the written exam, personally graded it, and reissued her a new license.

My roommate walked in the door to our apartment and I got an idea. I told my him that I needed his help to play a practical joke on my girlfriend’s mom. He was happy to join in. This would be a phone prank. We worked out a script with several different scenarios depending on how the mom reacted. (more…)

I was inspired by the story Sunroom Tappers, submitted by Rachelle, to share my own still-as-death animal story.

One time I went to a weird old couple’s house with my mom. They had a very cute German Shepherd sitting smartly in their darkened living room. We used to have one named Joab so I was very excited to have someone to play with while I was there.

I stood waiting for the dog to notice me and run over, that’s what dogs do with kids after all, but it just stood there in the dark. A happy look on its face but totally still.

It wasn’t until I got back in the car that I was able to ask my mom what was wrong with the dog.
“He was stuffed,” she said. This sounded completely horrifying to me! “He used to be their dog then he died and they had him stuffed.”

Today I’m quite familiar with the process of taxidermy where an animal’s pelt is removed and added to an artificial animal-shaped sub-structure… but at the time I thought they had found their dead dog, crammed him full of poly-fill and posed his ’stuffed’ corpse in the corner. Holy lord!

I guess I should be grateful. They could have had his smiling, glassy-eyed face mounted up on a plaque on the wall I suppose. I at least had the luxury of not knowing I was sharing the room with a mummy dog.

It has been at least 20 years since that day… and it still gives me the gibblies when I remember that happy, frozen dog.

My parents have a sunroom and a deck on the back of their house. They hired a company to come out and install an awning on the deck and within a few days the men showed up and began working.

Mom noticed that a few of them kept looking in the sunroom and tapping on the glass. They would look at each other with a puzzled expression and tap on the glass again. She watched them do this for awhile, and then went about her business.

After they had gone, she went into the sunroom to see what had caused all the interest. Nothing seemed out of place, but then she noticed it. She has one of those super-realistic cats that are made with rabbit fur sitting on a chair. The workers had seen it, thought it was real, and kept tapping on
the glass to get its attention.

I don’t know if they ever figured out it wasn’t real… maybe they thought there was dead cat in the sunroom! – Rachelle

It was the Summer Break of my 14th year. I spent the entire time at the neighborhood swimming pool. Like most girls that age I had a huge crush on one of the boy lifeguards. He was uber hot!

One day I decided I am going to totally impress this lifeguard and he is going to totally fall in love with me and we would live happily ever after. I went to the diving board and did a beautiful dive. I swam all the way to the bottom of the pool and came up right next to the lifeguard stand with a huge smile on my face. I started talking to the lifeguard and flirting my head off.

My friend swam up to me and suddenly got a weird, grossed-out look on her face. She leaned to me and whispered, “Um, you have a booger hanging out of your nose!” I brought my hand up to my nose and to my horror, there was a huge waterlogged boogie hanging out of my nose!

I was mortified! Right there and then I decided never to return to the neighborhood pool. And I never saw my lovely lifeguard again. - Alexis from Texas

About two weeks ago, I was in downtown Chicago on a field trip. After the trip, our group went out to lunch. We were all sitting around a big table and one of the girls got out her digital camera. She was showing a picture of a ugly man with some red splotches on his face. Now, several of us are in theater so I asked “Oh, is that one of the characters from the zombie play our friend Lucy was in?”

The girl looked at me with a serious expression and said, “That’s my grandpa!”

I was so embarrassed, and I felt like an idiot. It turns out the picture was taken two months ago when grandpa slipped on some ice, fell on his face, and got badly bruised. I still felt stupid, though.

Hope got a kick out of my idiocy! -Caleb