How NOT To Write A Story
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I get sent some really great stories. Part of what makes them great is they’re written well. But about 1 out of three are so poorly written whatever comedic value they might have had is completely lost in one huge mish-mash of poor punctuation and grammar.
Why would someone think I would even consider reading a story that they didn’t think was even worth writing out properly? Here’s the story that set me off.
Hey jjames and hopefully David i have a great story for middle school drama okay i know you probably aren’t going to believe this ut it is the honest to god truth. okay my friend and i were camping on the new river and we were floating down the river when we went into this little encasement of trees. so all sorts of things wash in there and we saw a watermelon and being the teenage boys that we are we decided to smash it so in the same place we were and threw it on it so it busted in half we let one half float down river and the other half we stuck on a tree branch there and the next thing we know a woman comes out on the bank and says what are you doing and we just say smashing a watermelon and she says that was ours it was cooling there and she had a big cooler right in front of us and she thought we were dumb anyway thats my story thanks
Two, count them, two periods. Maybe I’m overreacting. I’m just a man after all. Just jjames.
September 1st, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Yay for Grammar Nazis!
September 1st, 2008 at 4:30 pm
You try getting 10 of these illegible things a day.
September 1st, 2008 at 4:30 pm
That is the longest sentence I’ve ever seen.
September 1st, 2008 at 5:00 pm
i get that on facebook all the time from my youth. it’ll drive you mad, and lead to a lot of misunderstanding!
September 1st, 2008 at 5:12 pm
HAHA! You should totally read that on the show. Just like it’s spelled and grammaticized (is that a word?). Just read it without pausing or anything.
September 1st, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Koreo, you mistake me for someone with better reading skills than I have.
September 1st, 2008 at 8:42 pm
And bigger lungs…
It sounds German in origin–many German words are smaller words linked together. How does Miss Y say it? F.O.B.! (Fresh Off the Boat!)
It’s hard not to delete those, I’ll bet.
September 1st, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Dear. Lord. That is the worst I have ever seen. And I’m on Myspace all the time. Man, I wouldn’t even try to read it. After the double j’d James, and the no period after drama, I’d be done.
September 1st, 2008 at 10:46 pm
thiss why u gies hate middl scholers were not dumbjust lasy!!!!!!!11
Wow.
September 2nd, 2008 at 4:49 am
I’ve actually had bosses who wrote like that. Fortunately, everyone I work for now actually uses their education. My employees on the other hand… Let’s just say I hired them to be technicians, not to write.
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Hey i sent that and i now feel offended
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:27 pm
And with good reason, John.
Now, with that being said, there’s a period on the keyboard FOR A REASON!
September 4th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
that doesnt mean i have to use it
September 4th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
I know a good group of people that would love to disagree with you.
September 5th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
well the grammar nazis maybe but they dont matter in the world
September 6th, 2008 at 12:24 am
Nazis matter. Grammar Nazis should, too.
September 7th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
no they shouldnt all they do is yell at lazy people like me
September 7th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
Lazy people… With broken keyboards.
September 7th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
(Or just bad grammar)